He Didn't Name Names: What Kind of Leader Are You Becoming?

The most respected leaders are not the ones who rise above the crowd. They are the ones who stay in it. No matter how big your platform gets, the moment you stop having real conversations with the people who show up is the moment you have lost the plot.

What happened at NARPM National?

I was at a conference in Vegas at NARPM National, having a conversation with someone I had just met. He is a well-connected person who has been in the industry for a long time, and he thanked me for actually making time to talk with him.

That caught me off guard. Why wouldn't I?

Then he explained. Some of the male thought leaders in our space, people he respects, with big platforms, have become essentially inaccessible. Too important for a real conversation. Too busy to make a genuine connection. Too far above the crowd to come back down to it.

He didn't name names. He didn't need to. You already know the type.

Why did that comment stick with me?

Because I never want to be that person.

I don't care how big my platform gets, how many stages I stand on, or how full my calendar becomes. The moment I stop being willing to have a real conversation with someone who took the time to show up and say hello is the moment I've lost the plot.

I think about the version of me who was building Leading Edge from her living room, trying to figure it all out with zero connections and zero credibility. If someone with a big platform had given me ten minutes of their time back then, it would have changed my trajectory. Some did. I never forgot them.

Can you stay accessible without being available 24/7?

Yes, and this part matters. I'm realistic. I can't meet with everyone. I can't give free advice all day. There are boundaries that matter and I respect them. This isn't about being available 24/7 or saying yes to every ask.

It's about staying human.

It's about remembering that every person who walks up to you at a conference, sends you a DM, or replies to one of these emails was once in a position where nobody knew their name either. You were too. I was too.

What kind of leader are you becoming?

Wherever you are in your journey, this is the question worth sitting with. Maybe you're early and you feel invisible. Maybe you're growing and busier than you've ever been. Maybe people are starting to come to you for advice and you're figuring out what that means.

Are you the kind of leader who stays accessible, who remembers what it felt like to be new, who makes time for real conversations even when your calendar says you shouldn't?

Or are you slowly becoming the kind that people have to thank for simply showing up?

I know which one I want to be.

Frequently asked questions

What is accessible leadership?

Accessible leadership means staying willing to have real conversations with the people who show up, whether that is at a conference, in a DM, or in a reply to an email, no matter how big your platform gets. It is about staying human, not about status.

Can you set boundaries and still be approachable?

Yes. Accessibility is not the same as being available 24/7 or saying yes to every ask. You can respect your own boundaries and still make a genuine connection when someone takes the time to show up and say hello.

Why does staying accessible matter as you grow?

Every person with a big platform was once unknown. Ten minutes of a leader's time can change the trajectory of someone who is just starting out, and people never forget the leaders who gave them that time.

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